Being a Mommy

As my first official Mother's Day approaches, I cannot help but think how privileged it is to be the mommy of Sophia Kay Rhodes. Tonight, she fell asleep in my arms and as I continue to watch her sleep, I think to myself how lucky and how blessed I am to have her here with me. How wonderful it is to know someone loves and depends on your very being. To know that every little thing I do from here on out on this earth is going to be done with her best interest in my heart. To know when I smile at her she smiles back and that smiles lights up my world. Being a Mother is an honor. It is a calling, a responsibility,a state of mind, a purpose, a dream come true, a challenge, a triumph, a blessing. In the 4 and half months I have worn the title, I have found motherhood to be one of the most emotional experiences of my life. I did not come into motherhood easily. I was given my challenge upfront. I was "chosen" to wear this badge and walk this walk. I was called to a great responsibility. I was called to be the mother of a child with special needs. It is a "special" title that not many can hold and not many choose to honor. I will admit at the beginning of my embankment into motherhood. I was skeptical. I was confused. I was scared. I was unsure of my ability to walk this walk. I have always known I wanted to be a mommy. It has been my dream to not just be any mother but a mommy. A mother that would make all others envious. A mother my children would be proud to call mommy. A mommy and a friend. I knew in my heart that I was meant to be called mommy someday and I knew I would honor that title and do my best and give my all to be the best. So soon, that skepticism and confusion and whys went away. As my motherhood journey launched into full force, I knew that I had found my place. I knew what I had to do without question or doubt or fear. I rose to be mommy. All it took was seeing her face, holding her in my arms, wiping the tears and comforting her pains to know this was exactly where I was meant to be. Sophia was meant for me and I was meant for her. Sophia may not have made our start to parenthood easy but she is certainly making it worthwhile.  It is an amazing gift to watch your heart leave your body and see it reside within your child. It is a true wonder to finally have joined the elite society of motherhood. It is an honor I wear proudly. On this first mother's day, I will celebrate the life of my baby girl and I will be thanking her for wonderfully turning our worlds upside down so that we are finally able to see things clearly. To see the true joys and meanings of life. I hope I make you proud someday Sophia.