The Difference a Year Makes

I had started this blog several days ago but thanks to a glitch in my computer, I lost my words...and it took me a while to find them again. It is difficult reflecting back on that day. On Feb 9, marked the one year anniversary of when Sophia's was trached. It was on that day we had to make the difficult decision to have our 7 week old baby girl trached. Actually, there was no decision at all. Sophia had to be trached to save her life and in that the choice was clear. After the shock wore off of that first emotional week in Riley, I was somehow able to start pulling myself together. I was strong. Only sneaking away in private to cry or in the comfort of my husbands arms. I even managed to hold it together while waiting and comforting Sophia before the took her back to surgery. Together my husband and I had an emotional moment as they wheeled her back into the OR. Then in the waiting room, I felt a sense of calm because I knew in my heart the decision we made is saving our daughters life. It wasn't until I was finally able to see her almost 5 hours later that I... LOST IT. It was almost too much to bare to see my baby girl in that condition. I felt helpless. My beautiful baby girl who from the outside you would have never known she was sick now had these foreign objects invading her beauty. Sophia had her gtube placed at the same time as the trach. I went to the waiting room and sobbed. Then pulled it together and sat by her side day in and out as she recovered. After a long couple of weeks, Sophia slowly but surely started to "come alive". Her color, her spirit, her smile, she was back and really better than ever. It was amazing to see how fast she started to heal and improve once she no longer needed to fight to breathe. In light, one year later and I am still simply wowed by this girl. She has moved mountains and defied all odds against her. Though I would never want to relive that day again, I am thankful that that day led us to TODAY. Today, I have a happy healthy (considering) crawling moving and a shaking almost 14 month old baby girl. She in just that past few weeks has learned to sign. She is up to almost ten signs. She is sprint crawling lol. Pulling to stand and even walking when we hold her hands. We still are not walking and standing independently but I feel we are not too far from reaching those goals either. In a few weeks, we even go back to the doctor to start the process of getting the trach out. I hope and pray that this happens. IF she was able to do some much with her trach imagine the possibilities without IT.