The Unnecessary

My daughter's on trach collar, my daughter's on trach collar, my daughter's on trach collar I keep repeating this to myself because I cannot let the negative comments and actions of others impede on our joy. It amazes me that after EVERYTHING we have gone through this year with Sophia that people can find it within themselves to create more drama and stresses in our lives. Selfish drama and petty behaviors. With everything John and I have gone through with Sophia and in light of all her accomplishments we are still struggling to control the negative things creeping into our lives. I know I should not let any of these things bother me but I do. I have a huge heart and I carry a lot of things with me. Though I have bitten my tongue to these outside stressers, my hold is growing weaker and weaker. I have never been anything but kind and welcoming but I will no longer be tolerant of the unwanted snarkiness and pettiness that allures in the shadows of our happy. I am a wife and a mother first and foremost. I will ALWAYS be wife and mother. They are my greatest joys and my greatest duties. I feel that instinctive "mama-bear" nature filling my core. I will always protect my baby, my family. If you question, this primal reaction then you are no mother. Today, I will turn to peace and find strength and happiness within my daughter and my husband. Today, I will STOP worrying for the things I cannot control or change. Today, I will not let my smile grow weary by the assumptions, misperceptions, excuses and blame.  I cannot control the free-will or thoughts of others but I can control mine. Today, I will choose to remain positive, happy. I will build a wall, a barrier of protection, between the outside drama and our happiness. At the end of the day, they have their excuses to help them sleep better, but in the mornings that heaviness they feel on their shoulders is guilt. Though, don't you worry my daughter will always know love. Will always be loved regardless of who chooses to be apart of that or not.